Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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