Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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