C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
