Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
