I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Be still, my beating vagina.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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