Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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