What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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