cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
