East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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