hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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