and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
