shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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