What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
