Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
