It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
