This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
why is half of my head shaved?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
