I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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