the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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