yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
