that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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