So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
