my mouth tastes like poor choices
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm like, not good at living.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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