It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
