go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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