Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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