Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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