I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
