my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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