dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
