I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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