you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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