Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
