I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
