So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
