about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
