Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
