there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
