Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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