your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
