dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
