ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
