You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
