I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
where are my eyebrows?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize