im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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