Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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