Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
