He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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