Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
