She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
