3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
