wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Floor bacon is actually really good
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
