Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
