so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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