I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
