my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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