I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Randomize
