How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
