normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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