your thong is hanging out like whoa
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You took a bar mat shot.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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