I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
