I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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