You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
