I faked an abortion last night.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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