I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
