I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
